People always ask me – “So what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen on the plane?” I always look at them a little crooked when they ask me this, because the question should really be – What is the most normal thing you’ve ever seen on the plane? The truth is, everyday, with 145-218 passengers on board, there is always at least one special soul who wants to yell, shock, touch, be the center of attention, or do something that you never thought possible. That is, until you do your next flight of the day, and realize that anything and everything is possible when you’re in a flying tube with wings. On this particular day, that special soul who made the impossible possible, belonged to a young gentleman who was in his early thirties… (Please note: it was important for me to state the approximate age of the passenger due to the nature of the incident).
Visualize this! It was a completely full flight that day with 145 passengers onboard our smallest aircraft, the Airbus 319. My position that particular trip was in the aft galley, which is also where my jumpseat was located (lucky me). This gentleman was seated in one of the last few rows of the plane in the same general area as my eyeballs.
As we were beginning our final descent, this “gentleman” requested a trash bag, which usually means one thing – puke. (Yep! One of the three “P words”). So, putting on my janitor hat, I grabbed a trashbag out of the top galley compartment, tied the two bottom corners (learned this on day 1 when garbage juice seeped into my new Crocs), and passed it in front of the two well dressed ladies he had been sitting next to. (He had the window seat). Awaiting their request for a seat change, I quickly scampered back to my jumpseat, strapped myself in, and prepared for brace. Before I had time to do my usual in and out sigh of relief that we are almost on the ground, this “gentleman” took his…shall we say….”winky?”…out of his pants and began urinating into the garbage bag until the wheels had touched down on the runway. Best part? Upon deplaning, he tried handing me his pee bag so that I would throw it in the garbage for him! Maybe I forgot to remove the “janitor hat” I had on earlier that flight. SHOCKING…or just another day?